If you ever get the hankering for some good laughs but dont have the extra cash to go to a comedy show,,,,well,, go to your busiest local boat landing. Try to choose a saturday or sunday,,that is when YOUR not going to be on the lake spoonplugging for what ever ridiculas reason that you have absolutly NO excuse for.
Here are but a few of my best ,,(wheres my video camera when I need it) boat landing episodes. episode #1-slightly intoxicated buddies trying to pull old heavey fiberglass boat out from ramp with outboard engine stuck in bottom position handing from a 12 inch drop off slab of concrete ramp. Conclusion-aprox 30 min. later truck boat and d w i,s finally leave ramp and their carved initials in the ramp,, with boat hanging approx. 1/3 the way off trailer, as the alcohol begans wearing off leaving a hot frustrated group dragging their way off into the sunset. A mind IS a terrible thing to waste
episode#2-Guy and gal load up what seems to be there first yard sale pontoon boat fully loaded with all extras such as 15 year warrented carpeted floor on its 18th year, tires to match,,,some air to boot. and a depth sounder thats transducer cable resembles a kites tail. She backs into the water, as he builds momentium and heads toward the trailer she suddenly deciedes that she needs to come back 5 more feet,,he ( not noticing her bright move, because of the nice 27" screen fish finder, then makes contact with the trailer,.. then the tailgate,,,, full steam ahead. Man, this trailer loads easy>and crooked too. The old motor just dosent have enough steam to back,er off ,,Of course it would if she would just back up 10 ft. After 15 min. or so the happy couple drive off heading west as the pontoon looks to be heading southwest. They seemed to be speaking some foriegn language.
and episode#3-Guy backs truck and boat trailer down to the water and then gets out to shuve,er off, which he does a great job of. He then leads by rope,,his ole faithfull to the nearest boat ramp to tie,er off,,But then he hears along with everyone else,,a very unpleasant sound back toward the area he just left. ....Hey,,It looks as though David Copperfield has done a new Truck and trailer dissapearing act....I kid you not!!!!
Whopper Stopper
"Boat landings can be the funnest places"!
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Bart
I've seen some to. I remember waiting in line to put in and a couple ahead me has a brand new ski boat. Never been put in the water. The man decideds to unhook all straps from the boat in the parking lot. He starts to back toward the water and then he suddenly stops! That's right you guessed it, the boat came right off the trailer 20' away from the water. Scracthing their heads, they wonder what to do next. It was all I could do to keep from laughing. A bunch of us waiters had to help him push the boat to the water. Gives a new meaning to "Breaking it in and getting the first scratch". 
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MartyMcAvoy
- 200 series
- Posts: 182
- Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:23 pm
- Location: Ellettsville, Indiana
Ramp Stooges
As a very young ladd, I remember being at a ramp @ Morris Resv. in north central Indiana, my Dad's only lake he would go to in Indy, anyway, I was about to watch the biggest boat I had ever seen, to that point, be loaded & pulled out of the water. Well I just had to see this as the boat was considerably larger than the Van that was sitting in front of it...like twice its size!! With smoke rolling from the rear tires, had to get em in the water to get oceanliner on trailer, 2 guys in water pushing on ass-end of van, & woman applying the throttle to the boat, needless to say, they had the entire ramp as an audience but to no avail, Ain't Happening! Finally, some1 from the marina came down w/a tractor, U know, like on a farm...moo! & pulled the lot out, after a couple exciting wheel stands!! also @ same lake, Mom has told me of Dad, sitting in car, w/water up to his A$$ in car w/him!! Wasn't around yet for that 1! In Wisconsin where Dad would take us, Danbury & such...my brother & Dad launched the boat w/I thought U had the rope, NO, I thought U had it!! So my brother, Tom, got to strip & go after runaway boat!! & the ol' man gave me the splits gag off the dock & the boat...he found it funnier than I did, then anyway! OH Yea, What Fun!! Who's Idea was this anyway!
Knowledge is the Key to Success! Sharing it is Part of that Success! IN~Spoonplugger.
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Jerry Borst
- 800 series
- Posts: 771
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 3:00 pm
- Location: Northern IL
We saw a good one this winter, a couple of stoners were trying to get there sail boat "old piece of crap sail boat" on a trailer for the winter. As we trolled around watching these guys for at least 45min -1 hour before they got on it on, some of the times the boat looked to be on a 45* angle but they would still bring it all the way out of the water, take a look at it and then back it down for another try, oh yea and by the way they were using a Hurst rental truck.
Anyway after they finally got it on fairly straight and pulled the rental truck and there beauty of a sail boat up the ramp and started toward the exit of the parking lot they realized that the telephone wires going across the lot were lower than the mask, did I mention the 2 stoners...
There has been a ton of good ones over the years but Kinkaid in the summer on a weekend at dusk has been the most entertaining by far. The cop sits at the ramp and just waits for em to come in.
Anyway after they finally got it on fairly straight and pulled the rental truck and there beauty of a sail boat up the ramp and started toward the exit of the parking lot they realized that the telephone wires going across the lot were lower than the mask, did I mention the 2 stoners...
There has been a ton of good ones over the years but Kinkaid in the summer on a weekend at dusk has been the most entertaining by far. The cop sits at the ramp and just waits for em to come in.
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Gary Schiffner
As I am still a considerable distance from the boat ramp, I see a few policeman and I believe a game warden standing on the end of the dock. As I get closer, there are two jet ski's by the dock with the front ends pulled down in the water? As I dock my boat, I then see the problem, a new white Ford Explorer in over the roof. Actually it was hard to see till you were really close to it! This lake had excellent water color! Then a week or two later, same ramp, similar two jet ski's, only this time a small pick-up truck, again completely submerged. Funny part was as they were towing it out, the windshield wipers were on! Also have seen I/O's with the lower unit trimmed all the way down, Husband yelling to stop, wife pulling that boat up the ramp, just grinding that skeg off! Then there was the time as a young spoonpluger, I met my neighbor at the ramp. He brought his fathers 10' jon boat with 4 HP motor with no transmission. I launched my boat and was waiting for him. He's pulling and pulling that motor choking it, not choking , giving it full trottle. Of course the harder he pulled the more the motor was in a full turn and of course it started and he and the boat did a back flip into the early dawns misty waters! Stuff was floating everywhere and I laughted till I cryed!
There definitely is big money to be made at the boat ramps with a video camera!
There definitely is big money to be made at the boat ramps with a video camera!
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MartyMcAvoy
- 200 series
- Posts: 182
- Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:23 pm
- Location: Ellettsville, Indiana
Ramp Follies II
OK, I have to mention my own annual ritual to clean rinse the interior bottom, under floor, of boats i have owned...@ least once a year, launching w/out installing plug! The best 1 one required parking boat on ramp, & going back after truck & trailer to allow complete drain for oh, say 10 - 15 minutes!! The worst part is that I haven't done that 1 for awhile...& I am leary of the law of averages catching me up!! Can't do it anymore on the '96 Sea Nymph, but on the old '73, w/plug access easy to reach internally, I liked messing w/the girls heads while on plane, reaching down & pulling plug out, besides it is an effective way to drain any excess water from small leaks, just put it back in B4, slowing! M.
Knowledge is the Key to Success! Sharing it is Part of that Success! IN~Spoonplugger.
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Jerry Borst
- 800 series
- Posts: 771
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 3:00 pm
- Location: Northern IL
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pat maio
launches
Yeah, no question but that launches provide a good way to pass a weekend afternoon.
Out of the m any zany things I've seen one sticks out in my mind.
It was a hot summer day and I was waiting for my son-in law to bring my boat to the launch. The site was busy and the sweat poured off almost everyone making tempers short.
This one guy with the prettiest (if there is one) cigarette boat was launching with some difficulty while his bikini clad companion stood help[lessly on the side. You could tell the boat was brand new. When he finally got the monster in the water he loaded his cargo (her) and pushed off.
Something didn't work. The boat wouldn't start while everyone else cussed under their breath in the hot sun. Possibly this was the first time he had ever launched his new boat.
Anyway, it finally kicked over with a giant puff of smoke and more noise than you could imagine. I wonder how much hp he had. When he thought he was in control he put the boat in gear, the boat jumped forward and promptly rammed another boat that made the mistake of being there at that time. Fortunately there was no great? damage to either boat. The boaters still waiting now cussed more loudly. Eventually, the cig boat was able to get into open water with no further incident. I couldn't take any more especially after the cig boats noise so I left. I always wondered how he loaded the boat when he came in??
P.S. I live on the lake and I hate them AH cig boats with their noise that is an affront to other people. Take that!
Out of the m any zany things I've seen one sticks out in my mind.
It was a hot summer day and I was waiting for my son-in law to bring my boat to the launch. The site was busy and the sweat poured off almost everyone making tempers short.
This one guy with the prettiest (if there is one) cigarette boat was launching with some difficulty while his bikini clad companion stood help[lessly on the side. You could tell the boat was brand new. When he finally got the monster in the water he loaded his cargo (her) and pushed off.
Something didn't work. The boat wouldn't start while everyone else cussed under their breath in the hot sun. Possibly this was the first time he had ever launched his new boat.
Anyway, it finally kicked over with a giant puff of smoke and more noise than you could imagine. I wonder how much hp he had. When he thought he was in control he put the boat in gear, the boat jumped forward and promptly rammed another boat that made the mistake of being there at that time. Fortunately there was no great? damage to either boat. The boaters still waiting now cussed more loudly. Eventually, the cig boat was able to get into open water with no further incident. I couldn't take any more especially after the cig boats noise so I left. I always wondered how he loaded the boat when he came in??
P.S. I live on the lake and I hate them AH cig boats with their noise that is an affront to other people. Take that!
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troller
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde (of course!!), new to boating was having problems. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22ft Bayliner to perform.
It wouldn't plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath only to come up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
REMEMBER THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
It wouldn't plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath only to come up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
REMEMBER THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
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DouglasBush
I did this one myself about 2 years ago.
I am usually always alone. I back down ramp, then snap 25 foot long rope on boat to the hook on the trailer wench so boat will float off trailer and I can get rope and pull boat over to the side and then move vehicle with trailer out of the way.
I messed up and didn't hook the rope on the boat to the trailer wench and the boat goes floating away from the ramp with the usual onlookers in hysterics at this blunder.
Guess which way the wind was blowing? Why, away from the ramp of course...what else.
A sympathetic soul in another boat got the rope and pulled mine over to the shore.
50 years on the water and that was the first time for such lameness.
Douglas
I am usually always alone. I back down ramp, then snap 25 foot long rope on boat to the hook on the trailer wench so boat will float off trailer and I can get rope and pull boat over to the side and then move vehicle with trailer out of the way.
I messed up and didn't hook the rope on the boat to the trailer wench and the boat goes floating away from the ramp with the usual onlookers in hysterics at this blunder.
Guess which way the wind was blowing? Why, away from the ramp of course...what else.
A sympathetic soul in another boat got the rope and pulled mine over to the shore.
50 years on the water and that was the first time for such lameness.
Douglas